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Marriage Humour:
Wife:
'What are you doing?'
Husband:
Nothing.
Wife:
'Nothing...? You've been reading our
marriage certificate for
an hour.'
Husband: 'I
was looking for the expiration date.'
-------------------------------
Wife :
'Do
you want dinner?'
Husband:
'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife:
'Yes or no.'
_____________
Wife: 'You
always carry my photo in your wallet..
Why?'
Hubby: 'When
there is a problem, no matter how great, I
look at your picture and the problem
disappears.'
Wife: 'You
see how miraculous and powerful I am for
you?'
Hubby: 'Yes!
I see your picture and ask myself what other
problem can there be greater than this one?'
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Stress Reliever Girl: 'When
we get married, I want to share all your
worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy:
'It's
very kind of you, darling, but I don't have
any worries or troubles.'
Girl:
'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
----------------------! --------
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would
you have married me if my father hadn't left
me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd
have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A
FORTUNE!'
----------------------------------------------------------
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be
yours forever.
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early
warning.'
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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like
most in me, my pretty face or my sexy
body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and
replied: '
I like your sense of humour!'
Husbands are husbands
A man was sitting reading his papers when
his wife hit him round the head with
a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of
paper with the name Jenny on it that I found
in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races
last week Jenny was the name of the horse I
bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the
housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when
his wife bashes him on the head with an even
bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked
why she had hit again.
Wife replied: 'Your Horse phoned!!!! '
Give me a sense of humour, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humour out of life,
And pass it on to other folks
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